U Can’t Touch This

Barcelona Domination

For Manchester United, things started out very, very good.  Player of the year Ronaldo was about his business, putting shot after shot on goal in the first ten minutes.  Sure, none of them went in, but if this was how things were going go all night he could probably expect a hat trick.  Except, of course, that’s not now things went all night.   Barcelona took over with a quick goal from Samuel Eto’o and never looked back.  Lionel Messi got a header in later on, and that was it.  An excellent game by two historically good teams.

Of course, it always hurts to be on the losing end of things, for players and fans.  Sometimes fans take it even harder than the players.  Then, sometimes fans take a bus and drive it into a crowd of the opposing teams fans as they celebrate.  That’s exactly what happened in Nigeria, as a Man U fan killed four Barca supporters.  Yikes.

Also, Eamonn Brennan takes an interesting look at why soccer isn’t as popular here in the states and has a suggestion: more stats.  The fat guy next to me at the bar where I was watching the game leads me to suggest more beer, but that guy was also a jackass, so maybe stats are a better idea.

Lakers Beat Nuggets, Take 3-2 Series Lead

Yeah, yeah, the Lakers won, but I’m still gonna lead in with Chris Birdman Anderson blocking Lamar Odom through pure force of will.  This wasn’t one of the blocks that he’s become known for this year, flying in out of no where and slapping the shit out of the ball.  No, this was with the tips of fingers, getting just barely enough to reject it.  Oh that is pretty.

Maddeningly inconsistent through the playoffs, the Lakers put it all together last night and, hey, won the thing.  A pretty solid night all around for the Lakers, although no one looked nicer (okay, no one but Kobe Bryant) than Lamar Odom.  Having 19 points, 14 rebounds and 4 blocks tends to impress.  This is what the Lakers need- you know Kobe is going to go off no matter what, but garnish that with a solid outing from one or two of his very talented supporting cast and that’s victory-town baby.

They’re heading back to LA for game 6, so look for the Lakers to put the Nuggets to bed in front of the home town crowd.

On the other side of things, it’s game 5 for the Eastern Conference Finals.  It’s do or die time for the Cavaliers, who are down 3-1, but the Magic better not let themselves get cocky.  They’ve won their three games by a total of 13 points- and that’s including a 10 point victory.  So yeah, conventional wisdom says that Cavaliers are screwed.  But hey, one big victory in front of the home town crowd, maybe Mo Williams pulls his head out of his ass gets his shooting touch back, and they’ve still got the man who can take over a game like no other, Mr. Lebron James.  Oh, but they won’t be able to hope for a Dwight Howard suspension, at least not right away, as the League wiped out his technical from Tuesday night.  I just hope it goes on for as long as possible, because damn these games are fun.

The People Have Spoken

Well, 500 Minnesotans anyway.  But what they have to say is a beautiful thang:

Just 29% of Minnesota voters think the Minnesota Vikings should sign retired quarterback Brett Favre to helm their NFL team. Forty-two percent (42%) say it’s a bad idea, according to a new Rasmussen Reports telephone survey in the state.

Thirty percent (30%) aren’t sure if the team should sign Favre or not.

That warm feeling you’ve got creeping into your heart?  That’s what happens every time something bad happens to Favre’s (fkkn second) unretirement bid.  I mean, good god, does anyone like this guy anymore?  Without mentioning the brain-grating media circus that he insists on turning his life into, he left both the Packers and Jets in a manner that doesn’t allow the teams to get anything for him.  Even then, you’d expect some hardcore cheese heads to still love him, but he neatly took care of that by shitting all over Green Bay and now courting their arch rivals.  Even Peter King seems to be tiring of his bullshit, something I thought I’d never see.

I hope he does go to the Vikings, it’d be fun for him to experience a fan base that hates him before he gets there.

EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention.  Fran Tarkenton thinks the whole business is bullshit and called Favre’s behavior “despicable.” Mr Tarkenton, I never saw you play, but you’ve just made yourself another fan.

[via fanhouse]

Lebron Causes News Team to Lose Composure, Weather Guy

A Local Cleveland News Team nearly gives up on the Cavs with one second left. They’ve had Lebron for a few years now, they should know it’s not over until it’s over.

Also: “Somebody took the shot?”  What do you mean somebody?  You didn’t have to even look at the TV to know who made that miracle happen.  Please.

[via TSB]

NBA Round Up…and Down

Busy, busy, busy weekend and in the middle of all of it…Basketball.  Every night.  Every damn night.  With how great these NBA playoffs have been, it’s like a gift that you don’t have the space for.  Like some of your favorite desert right after you stuffed yourself with a big meal.  You can’t say no, but at the same time, maybe a little break will be nice.

Then again, I’ll be scratching and twitching during the summer when all I’ve got is baseball, “What, you’ve got that game two of the conference championships recorded?  Come on man, I need it, I don’t care if it is a shitty VHS.  Lemme see that Lebron shot, just one little shot, that’s all I need, come on baby, help me out here…”  It won’t be pretty.  So I’ll enjoy this while I can.  Y’know, if the refs let me.  Okay, lets get to it:

Orlando Magic v Cleveland Cavaliers, Game 3, in Orlando

This series has been really, really, really fun to watch.  Lebron James and Dwight Howard are two of the biggest physical freaks in the leak- dynamic players that are unbelievably exciting to watch.  They’ve both got supporting casts that get buckets and play hard D, this is a dream match-up out of the east.  But what could make the game not only a little bit less exciting, but a lot less exciting?  How’s 86 free throws sound?  Eighty Six.  The whole game is only 48 minutes, that’s nearly a foul every minute!  If that still sounds like your idea of a good time, well, I don’t know what to do with you.  The refs simply cannot play such a large role in the game if the NBA wants to keep putting out an entertaining product.  Can we expect a little more restraint on the whistle tonight?  Eh, I’m not holding my breath.

Dwight Howard came out with a nice workman-like game, getting 24 points despite only going 5-8 from the field.  Mike Brown and the Cavaliers, right from the start, decided they were perfectly happy letting the typically poor shooting big man hit free throws instead of break the shot clock with his dunks.  Howard happily obliged, going 14-19 from the charity stripe.  Most of Mickael Pietrus‘ work came towards the end of the game, making his effect on things in the eyes of the viewer disproportionate to his box score- but he did do a nice job guarding Lebron.  Hedo Turkoglu and Rafer Alston had solid games, posting +-’s of +20 and +17 respectively.

On the Cavaliers end, it was the same old story.  LeBron James got 41-7-9, which is great but he took too many shots to get there.  It’s hard to blame him, as the rest of his team were their same ho-hum selves they’ve been this entire series.  Delonte West and Mo Williams were the only two players to crack double digits and they were less than efficient themselves- Williams was 3 for 10 from long range.  Speaking of jump shots (and not making them), LeBron was 2 for 15 on his jump shots for the day, check out his shot chart.  While it certainly says something that he was able to drop 41 while his jumper was MIA, that can’t continue.  He needs his touch back on those, but he also doesn’t need to be taking that many unless he’s got a hot hand.  He’s one of the best in the game at driving to the hoop and perhaps the only in the league capable of doing that against Dwight Howard and expecting some reasonable success.  More driving+less shooting=more efficiency?  The Cavs better hope so.

Los Angeles Lakers vs Denver Nuggets, Game 4, in Denver

Hey another series that’s been fun to watch!  At least that ref crew from Cavs-Magic isn’t over here in Denver to foul things…oh what the f- 84 free throws?  God dammit.  Yeah, this one was nearly as ugly as the last one.  Despite nearly the same number of fouls, it didn’t feel quite as painful.  Still, this is bad math:

(170 free throws/96 minutes)*just over 24 hours=0 thanks

Writing that (very scientific) equation was about as much fun as watching all those fun, fun trips to the foul line.  Then there were the four technicals which, by my expert (and again, scientific) calculations, a grand total of one was necessary.  Then there was the flagrant foul that wasn’t (Andrew Bynum swatting for the ball and catching Birdman’s face) and the one that wasn’t that should have been (Dahntay Jones reaaaching out with his foot to trip Kobe Bryant).  Blech.  Lets just armor these guys up and get rid of refs altogether.  Not a bad idea, except Kenyon Martin might kill someone.

This is the same story as the last series, both set to the sound of Nike’s execs crying.  You’ve got the super star putting up nice numbers (34-6-7) but with poor efficiency and the rest of the team simply not pulling their weight (except you Pau Gasol, he got 21 and 10 off 8 for 11 shooting).  Meanwhile the Nuggets had a hobbled and sick superstar in Carmelo Anthony and just decided to spread the love around with seven players in double digits.  Chauncy Billups didn’t have as many assists as usual, but that’s because he was busy scoring 24 points on his own.  More crucially, JR Smith stepped up as the 6th man X-Factor that the nuggets depend on, pouring in 24 points.

Fouls aside, these games have been outstanding.  A bit more whistle swallowing and I doubt I’ll have any complaints.  Oh, and sorry other little projects and things I might be doing with my free time- I really hope both of these go to game seven.

Free Darko + Adidas= Genius

Hopefully you know Free Darko as your first stop for the NBA through the lens of philosophy.  But did you know that Adidas hired them to make their newest ads?  No, no you did not.  Check them out below, the first for Defensive Player of the Year Dwight Howard and the second for Rookie of the Year Derrick Rose.

Beautiful.

Oh, and in case you’re interested in getting like Dwight Howard or Derrick Rose, this is what they’re pushin: They’re both wearing the new Adidas Teach-Fit gear, Dwight with the Power Web and Derrick in the padded version.  Then for shoes, Dwight’s in the TS Bounce Commanders and Derrick is wearing the TS Lightning Commanders.  Also, Derrick Rose has the Adidas SpeedWrap on his ankle.  All of this can be found at Adidas’ online store- which has plenty more videos of these two in action, if that kind of thing interests you.

Vick Jukes Prison Guards, Is Now Free

Michael Vick shook two prison guards today, ran all the way from the left side of the prison yard to the right, put a nasty spin move on a reporter and all he had in front of him was daylight…and two more months of electronic survielance under federal custody in his home in Virginia.  But he’s free!  Mike Vick is free!

NFL Commissioner Fidel Roger Goodell has not commented on his reinstatement to the League, but Vick is expected to pursue this option.  If he comes back, I’ve gotta think that some professional team will take a chance on him.  If not, there’s always the Raiders (see what I did there? ooooh).  Seriously, the man is fast, his agent should just keep sending Al Davis youtube videos until he gets a max contract:

Damn, he was magic out there.  If he’s even got some of that left in the tank, you gotta believe he can contribute somewhere.

[via AP]

Kobe-Lebron. Who Is The Best??

If you’re a basketball fan, you probably come down on one side of the fence or the other on the great debate- Kobe Bryant or Lebron James.  I’ve always ridden for Kobe but this year my resolve has started to slide.  I’m not officially on the fence.  For me it shakes out like this: Kobe is the height of Skill, Lebron the epitome of Ability.  Kobe is refined, without weak points in his game.  Lebron has physical tools like no one before, but his game isn’t as slick and as tight.  Which is also the horror movie scenario for the rest of the league: he can still get a lot better.

But don’t listen to my indecision and non-analysis, the real debate is over at TrueHoop: The State of the Great Debate: Kobe vs Lebron 2009.  They’ve assembled* some of the top basketball bloggers in the business to debate- it’s long and interesting and so you should go hop on that.  Go on, get out of here.  Then come back.  I’ll have another post up by then.  Probably.

*Man, how awesome is it that Henry Abbot and TrueHoop now have espn’s considerable weight behind them?  I’ll tell you: very awesome.  If you love basketball and aren’t reading his blog, you’re doing it wrong.

These Nuggets-Lakers Basketball Games Could Turn Out Okay

As you may know, your humble editor is a busy and important man and these past two months have been some of the busiest and importantiest.  As such I’ve been out of pocket for the NBA playoffs, only able to read about the games, like a traveler far from home subsisting on letters alone.  But now?  I’m back and I’m like a newborn baby to these things- I mean holy-damn, did you guys see that game last night?  I don’t have the exact stats, but I’d say there were somewhere around a billion lead changes as the Los Angeles Lakers and Denver Nuggets took turns leap frogging each other by a point at a time.  That was hot, hot action.

Leading up, there was a lot of talk from ESPN and around blogfrica that this wasn’t Nuggets-Lakers, this was Carmelo-Kobe.  That would be the match-up that decided the game.  Well, let’s see how that shook out, shall we?

Kobe Bryant- 40 points, 6 rebounds, 4 assists

Carmelo Anthony- 39 points, 6 rebounds, 4 assists

Cot-damn, that’s a heavy weight fight.  I’m on the record as a Kobe Bryant stan, but Carmelo is my man as well- and has turned into an absolute assassin now that he’s got  Chauncy Billups ridin shotgun- and if this series continues to be a slugfest between the two of them, I’ll be pleased as punch.  My favorite clip of the night was the montage  of Anthony and Bryant going hard at each other on defense every play, arms tied up and whipping around, trying to gain the slightest bit of advantage or leverage.  Two stone cold ballers, playing their asses off against each other.  Lovin it.

Once you get past Carmelo and Kobe though, the story was the bench- the Lakers got 27 points out of theirs, the Nuggets only 16 from two players.  They need JR Smith to put on his blood-red wizard hat and be getting that on his own.  This is the Lakers, this is the conference championship, the Nuggets need their X-factor to be burning brightly.  For a few minutes there in the second half it looked like he was going to regain his stroke and the Lakers might be in trouble, but it didn’t last.

This series is going to be fantastic.  I’ve still got my fingers crossed for a Lebron-Kobe throwdown in the finals, but I hope this shit goes seven and keeps it close the whole way.

Oh yeah, and how bout that steal? It’d be an all time classic if this was a game seven (or if that’d been Kobe instead of Ariza).